You may be wondering if premarital counseling is really worth the the time, commitment and money? Or, is it really necessary and can it actually help your future marriage?
Before you just dismiss the whole idea and move on to the cake testing or registry scanning (with that cool laser gun), please hear me out. I believe you should absolutely 100% take some form of premarital counseling before tying the knot.
With the high divorce rates and low marital satisfaction in our culture today, signing up for a premarital class is a must. My wife and I had great premarital counseling before we got married, and have helped facilitate premarital classes with many couples. The investment into your future marriage is priceless and so important. Premarital counseling isn’t for the weak, it’s for the wise.
In case you are still on the fence on whether or not premarital counseling is for you, check out these 3 reasons every couple should do premarital counseling:
1. Marriage planning is more important than wedding planning.
It’s all about perspective, and having the right one. Less than one-fifth of engaged couples in America have some kind of formal marriage preparation. According to The Knot, the average wedding cost is roughly $35,500. That means there is a lot effort and money being spent on the wedding day itself. Yet the real truth is: Your wedding is just a day, but your marriage is for a lifetime.
Your wedding is just a day, but your marriage is for a lifetime.
Investing in “until death do us part” is far more beneficial than “one day with a witty hashtag”. You cannot put a price tag on preparing for life together beyond the wedding day. Premarital counseling helps you get a unified vision as a couple that will add strength to your marriage for years to come.
2. It equips you to have the hard conversations
Most couples who are engaged are infatuated with each other and the idea of marriage. So much so, that often times they avoid any “hard conversations” to not interfere with the romantic high. This can lead to a very enjoyable engagement season, but very disappointing marriage in the long run.
Good communication is the backbone of a successful marriage. One of the things I love about premarital counseling is that it will equip and push you and your fiancé to have the hard conversations. Talking about your upbringing, views and experience with sex and money, and expectations for the future should never be put off until after the wedding. These conversations must happen. Most premarital classes will give you the tools to successfully navigate the hard conversations and set you up for a more fruitful marriage.
3. It helps you better understand your future spouse
As a result of all the communication and conversations that normally happen in premarital counseling, another benefit is that you will most definitely get to know and understand your future spouse better. The more you understand about each other, the better you can serve and please each other.
Getting past surface level conversation with your future spouse will help reveal so much. Expectations for marriage, love languages, passions, hurts, fears, and the “why” behind all of them is gold. Learning to understand and value your differences will help you get along better in marriage.
You want to eliminate as many surprises and uncover as many expectations before the altar. Often a much deeper understanding of your future spouse comes through dedicated marriage preparation.
Premarital counseling is a MUST! Making the choice as a couple to invest in the health and strength of your future marriage can never hurt and always help.
If you don’t know where to start, here are a few tips and resources to point you in the right direction:
CHURCH: check with your local church, as many offer some sort of premarital class.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Total Money Makeover
The First 90 Days of Marriage
The Story of Marriage
The 5 Love Languages
Ready To Wed
Marriage on the Rock
Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.Proverbs 24:27 NLT